I am Mom, Mr. Mom

Posted on December 27, 2010

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A Post from June 4 2010:

I rise with the sun and I cook with little hands begging for juice and fresh waffles in the morning. I stay away from the waffles as much as I can; don’t want to undo what I’ve done  at my weekly spinning class.

Coffee’s brewing and the TV is set to PBS kids.  The wife presses her hair upstairs and gets all shinny for work. She runs down the stairs to see Mr. Mom at the helm, with dueling toddlers and a vibrant 7 year old that corrects my settings for the mini oven.

I am the driving force it seems just as my wife used to be when I was the one rushing out the door.

My work schedule has changed; I work from home now. I am a writer and an Actor. My schedule is my own and while that has its perks I am above all a Husband and a Daddy and this means living the lifestyle of a stay at home mom; trying to balance work and parenthood. And for those not aware-such a call carries its brutal burden with few rewards.

Every week I am working out to stay sane at the  Avalon Park YMCA . I am among some mighty women. I see the cars drive by the YMCA sidewalk  in awe of the row of spinning bikes, the music and the many women hashing it out for their health, their vanity and their peace of mind. I get it now! I am one man among women. I am usually the only guy there. 

Once in the last week and half did another man dare to join this elite group of “spinning” women. They toil and stress over the kids’ lives and spend very little time for themselves, so they deserve these 45 minutes of serious personal challenge and growth. They easily inspire me to push myself to a level I once knew back in high school when I played football and ran track.

Spinning gives me pride to say, “I am Mr. Mom.”  The thought that a man is less honorable for doing women’s work might be remnants of an old sexist mindset, but its a temptation I deal with. Working out and taking on physical labor while at home eases this unsettling yet silly thought.

This new lifestyle has its honor though. I am the one that rises first….usually. I am the one that goes to sleep last. I am still the one that must ride ahead of the pack to make sure the coast is clear. The logistics of plans and errands rests primarily on my shoulders as they did before. So I will not waste time and energy questioning, “What have I become?” but rather I will ask “What can I learn with this new task before me?”

Its about turning that doubt into a path that leads to growth and more knowledge about who I am and what my potential is. My role as a man, father, husband, actor and writer should not be limited to the acceptable terms society has set for me. I should see beyond the clouds and simply BE. Exist amongst this new landscape. A fresh perspective. Plant seeds in the unexpected fertile ground and watch wonders grow.

It reminds me of the “Dead Poet’s Society” when Robin Williams has his students stand on the teachers desk- to change their point of view. This is where we gain true and complete wisdom- to see beyond our narrow vision, to rise above the norm and glance at life with fresh eyes. 

I am Mr. Mom and I finally see things and feel things that will bring me closer to a sense of what Christ did on earth. He spoke with wisdom because he saw life through God’s eyes and that means seeing from every angle, every sinner, every introvert, extrovert, child, woman, man-God sees all as it should be and works toward that with divine patience.

I am Mr. Mom, but I can’t say that I am divinely patient, and I am not amazing at being home like my wife was.  But I know where I stand and my vision is clear… today. The task before me offers honor but they’ll be days where I have to stand on a few tables and sofas in order to refocus, in order to feel accomplished saying, “I am Mr. Mom.”

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Posted in: Life